最后一章

说这也好笑。。。我在和他谈话，却因为说到你而哭了。
怎么又哭了？为什么又哭了？

我渐渐开始明白。。。你不会再回来了。不管你顾虑的是什么，你应该都不会回头了。

常在问自己，到底做了什么。为什么会变成这样？难道我松了手后，你才发现自己的天空更好？
我。。。虽然气过，伤过，怨过，却没有恨过。

我自然也不会再让你为难了。
我的眼泪再也不是你的负担了。

但愿你开心。

Silent Sanctuary到这为至。。。
但愿有缘再续。


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
歌曲：《我只能爱你》
演唱：彭青

当你握紧我的手
我决定和你走
经历再多的挫折
也绝对不退缩

当河流
都倒流
我还在你左右
一直陪伴你到时间的尽头

就算有一天
天和地都会分离
也永远不离
也不弃要和你在一起

------------------------------------

Sunday

I have decided that Silent Sanctuary would remain @ where it is.
Solitaire Pixie would blog at another place. I thought of shifting the whole blog over but well, I do not want to keep reading those archives.
Since May 2004 is long enough and maybe a new chapter is where it should start from.

Tomorrow's onwards. =)

默默的改变

But things change. People change. Change was one of the inevitable laws of
nature, exacting its toll on people's lives.
Mistakes are
made, regrets form, and all that was left were repercussions that made something
as simple as rising from the bed seem almost laborious. - Nicholas Sparks ' The Choice'.

慢慢的。。。心中有种变化。
只是。。。可以相信吗?

这是一个没有答案的问题
我感觉我变了 谁让我变了
原本这是一个没有答案的问题
却被你解开了 简单的解开了

你走过来 带着和别人不同的对白
你甚至不让我知道 你对我有多好

慢慢的 这份爱 悄悄的住下来
深深的 在心里 没人看的出来
安静的 但却一直都在
是你默默的爱

慢慢的 这份爱 已经变成依赖
浅浅的 笑容里 却让我充满期待
不用说 我就能够明白你默默的爱
-飞轮海 --默默

After sometme, I've finally made up my mind -MLTR

This is supposed to be a very romantic, sappy sound - 25 minutes.
It is playing on Class 95 now.

But my first response today is 'What kinda bloody excuse is that? Who are you to cry when you took God knows how long to make up your bloody mind, and cry now when you find your love in the church marrying someone else?'

Get real!
Shite excuses!

Change of blog url

Dear all,

My few friends who actually care enough to visit this dumb blind_meow blog, thank you.
I would officially change my url to something else, have already thought of a name. (hope it's available!)
I would change it on the 23rd March 09.
There's no particular reason why I would wanna change it. Probably because I had always wanted to do so and finally doing it.

Please leave a comment if you wish to follow and I will sms you the new url.

Thanking you.

Love,
MicH

He said, you've got to love yourself - J.Mraz

It's Friday once more. I always love Friday cos' Friday night seems long whether I'm working the next day or not.

Love. Whether love finds me or I find love, it matters little to me now. Not that there's a protocol about it.
If a situation like today must come, I only regret it has not been earlier.
25 years old may not be old but I wish I could start off much a few years younger IF a day like today should come.

Living. Life's about living and should not be defined by age. Unfortunately the human cult doesn't resist that. We always think that we should act like what's expected of our age.

I am alot less disillusioned about love. I guess I am just pretty worn up and what does it matter whose fault it is? If you can't forgive the past, won't try to do anything to salvage the present, there's no future to talk about.
I can only be wistful about it but it's not something I can do it alone. I am not in my own relationship and certainly not chasing after it anymore.

I am (trying) to more enthusiastic about living, trying to resist what most citi-dwellers are teaching the world today.
Yes it is good to marry young, to earn and afford the materials, to get your degree, to pay for your own home and have kids before you push 30. This is the culture and it seriously won't be wrong to follow.
But I want to believe that there's is more than life than following what should be done. I know it is only the realistic is calling but I feel that before I kick my bucket one day, I wanna know I had led a life that I am content with...Not something that I am following blindly.

I am still a confused soul but I hope to do better with each passing day.

Good night, fellas.

Ps..I really thought to change my blogsite. Had enough of this blind meow. When I changed, I would inform the necessary.

It's about time.

Sick.
Dotsssss

Bread and Rose

It sucks to be stuck in a situation of having to choose between Bread and Rose.

The outsiders, the logical and the realists forming a group what I would call the 'Sane' would of cos' pick up the Bread anytime.
It's not even a choice. Can you hold on to the beautiful rose and count on it for survival?
No.When you need a bread, you need a bread. You need it for your stomach, you need it for strength, you need it as an asset!

The dreamers, the romance @ heart, the emotional form another group what I then call the 'Insane' would find their hands wavering towards the Rose.
What is the point of picking up a piece of dough when it is not filling your heart?
The emptiness of a heart can be pretty scary. Mental hunger can kill you faster than physical hunger. When your heart is hungering for something, it sends the illogical signals to your brain which then the most powerful organ (Ok, I know brain is not an organ but what is it?) in your body would manipulate you.
Can you promise to be happy or would you find yourself detesting yourself eventually and be that hungry beggar @ heart?

What would you choose if you have to pick only one?
Don't assume your answer too soon cos' I know most people would tell me that they'll pick Bread over Rose.
You are saying that too soon cos' you are NOT putting yourself in the shoes. You are saying as a stand of an outsider.

IF you are really in the situation, go and picture the scenario.
Putting aside that you need a house, you need a car, you need a bag and a Bread could help you with that.
Just imagine if you really have to choose one, knowing one role could not fulfill what the other can give. What would you pick?

Would you choose a life whereby you are perhaps never have to worry about being too hungry BUT ended up in a situation whereby your emotion needs are never fulfilled, not even close?
Or would you choose a life whereby you can live rich in the heart but perhaps shabbily in the eyes of the others and of cos' there are alot less things you can afford?

Go figure.

Despite everything, it is so difficult to ignore the throbbing pain within.
I am tired...think i would just go sleep. 8.37pm...oh well.

Moving on Sunday

You can read one or a dozen of self help books like 'He's Just Not That Into You' or 'He is such a sorry (fucking) jackass.'.
You can laugh at some parts, cry or tear at some, feel righteously angry at some more parts, motivated to pick up the good advices along the lines and try move on.

But it is not an instantaneous thing, it won't be.
The point of moving on being a gradual thing would have mean there are alot (more) days that I would cry, feel sad and lonely, miss you, wanted to kill you or more of myself as the matter of fact, living my life like a robot etc.

It is that difficult & really torturous and I really hope I won't have to do it for the rest of my life,ever. That I meant, moving on from a bad relationship.

Alot of times I wish it hasn't turned up this way. Why is it getting worse between me and Jason all the time when this breakup wasn't meant to be for that.
But what's the point of me asking the walls, asking the skies, asking the air, asking myself when a relationship is about 2 persons working on it.
It's not about me and myself, not me and the concrete walls, not me and the blue to dark sky, not me and the invisible air!
If Jason can't work his ass, CAN'T BE BOTHERED to even try to help this relationship, why am I torturing myself over it?

I know the thing is...Sometimes I can't help it. I am always still hoping, keeping that little flame somewhere in my heart.
Even though now that I read and actually know it inside that he's is not that into me already, still doesn't help me to distinguish that small little flame.

I know this whole thing sounds stupid but what I am trying to say is , other than YOU SUCK!!!, I am not having an easy time as it seems.

Thank God that I have a bunch of nice girlfriends who are always supportive, and a few more whom I know are behind me all the time.
Thank God that I am not a born depressionalist. Emotional yes, depressionalist no. Big difference, mind you.
Thank God that I still love myself.
Thank God that (even if any of you disagree) I am still somewhat attractive to the eyes of some guys.

There are guys who wanna know me, guys who wanna ask for my name and number from the streets(Not kidding. I know you don't believe that and I find it weird myself too.), guys whose hands lingered around me(that I hate!) on the dancefloor. (*Disclaimer:I am not too proud of that but as a matter of just fact...If you are not attractive, would guys wanna touch you?).

And I have a guy who can show me that he is now really into me. Ok, maybe I can't add the word 'Really' but he is into me.
Period.

All these are pushing me to just move forward in life. (Ok...I know I elaborated too much about the guys part. Un-necessary information.)

I am picking up my French course. I am planning to go Cambodia with my girlfriends. I may be planning a few more things soon.
I am moving forward in life and I don't think I am doing a bad job. I hope this makes you (Jason) happy cos' this is what you want me to do and you would feel less guilty.
However even if I am NOT doing a good job about moving on, you wouldn't do anything anyway. I know. - shrug-

Of cos' that doesn't mean that I am smiling every single day, pushing my limit everyday. I am still hoping, still crying, still angry, still cursing, still sad. But I am also moving on.
One day you might not see me anymore and with all of your doings, I hope this is what you wanna see. You won't hear me or see me writing anything bad or good about you anymore.

I know this still sounds bitter but which part of moving on in the above paragraph did you not understand?
If you still don't, I suggest you stop reading my chunky post and proceed below.

Picture post:

This is taken from New Asia Bar, when I was there with Yan & Reen on Wednesday.

You may find it pretty but I find it really boring. City lightings doesn't excite me that much.

Had breakfast @ Mama Bakery with Vonx & Krist today.

On the way saw this vintage cars display in my primary school.

Mama Bakery @ Square 2,Novena.

Japanese bread own by really friendly and polite Japanese ladies. You have to look & act kawaii too.

I hear SW vomitting and rolling his eyes (Krist's joke about rolling eye upwards is really joke of the day.) Kidding, I looked like a drag without makeup this morning. Had a shock when I saw myself in the mirror and quickly rushed outta the toilet.

Quite a nice place for some very nice bread. However do not even think of trying to be healthy and order orange juice. I forced myself to finish that cos' it costs me bloody $2.80 a glass.

You can't miss that place cos' it's not possible not to be swoon over by their breads' aroma once you walk past.

A nice place for a breakfast session when the breads are freshly baked with friends, with your partner or just yourself and a book. =)

Our breads put together.
A good chance I would go there again, even if it means waking up early on a Sunday to go Novena. (Provided I am not dead by Saturday.)

That's all I would share for this week. If you bother reading all the time, thank you for that.

I should continue to bury myself in the books I borrowed. Oh, I've been to Bishan library (like finally) and I like it.

Meanwhile...Just keep listening to Leona Lewis 'Better in Time'. This is so about me now.

Roarr!

I know, I just have to put my picture. Why, cannot meh?

You might regret what you let slip away, like the geek in the pink - J.Mraz

Well I ain't no geek but you might would regret what you let slip away anyway.

This is gonna be stuck in my brain (and mouth) for an undefined period of time.
It is NOT easy to identify and really digest that the guy you are or were with is actually not that into you.

Each page I read (from the book) is a big kick to my stomach. Distasteful facts but they are true,aren't they?

Let me share with you some pointers from the book.



He's just not that into you if he is not dating you.

• Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.
• An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "runining the friendship."
• If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
• Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.

He's just not that into you if he is not calling you.(My favourite by far)

• If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. (Tell me how true this is!)
• If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he wil do the same for big things.Be aware of this and realise that he's okay with disappointing you. (Oh wow~Bull eye!)
• Don't be with someone who doesn't do what they say they're going to do.(Sure cos' he never got into doing it anyway despite YEARS!)
• If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
• "Busy" is another word for "asshole." "Asshole" is another word for the guy you're dating.

100% of men polled said they've never been too busy to call a woman they were really into. As one fine man said, "A man has got to hace his priorities."

A man who likes you wants to spend time with you. And he'll only settle for talking to you on the phone five times a day when he physically can't come to see you.

Missing someone is a sign of a healthy relationshio. Not respectiing your need to have some form of connection with him while he's away IS NOT.

Regardless of his dislike for talking on the phone, he should respect and care for you enough to call you, if only because he knows that it will make you happy.

So fuck it! Fuck it, fuck you.

Anyway that part is all reserved for Jason and I am always disappointed with him, STILL AM!
The fact that after all these years, he is still not doing anything about anything..I have to really learn it that he is just not that into me.

I don't know why am I always excusing him with his 'I am not a phone person' excuse and always the loser that call him first? Yes, LOSER!

I don't know why am I always happy to settle for the lesser from him such as an occasion 'good night dear, I miss you.' and that kinda messages don't even last for good.

I don't know why am I always putting up with his commitments for soccer, for work when it just means his bloody self-interests come on top of me? He never thought of even forsaking any of those for my sake or even just politely ask for my feelings. AND he never makes up for it anyway.

After this breakup, he even has the bloody cheek to point the knife point back to me and hurting me so much that I wish I could die. And he only had that little decency and small guts to SMS me AFTER I contacted him, telling me he is not worth so much of my pain, WITHOUT doing anything about it actually.

It made my blood boils each time I think of all these and fuck it, it still hurts. I don't know why am I always, ALWAYS telling people that Jason is a very nice boyfriend and really still saying so! Why am I so fucking stupid over someone that told me he loved me and still think about me BUT IS NOT DOING ANYTHING to PROVE IT!

Why don't you just come and tell me that you just don't love me no more and actually never really did? Maybe you did but it has long stopped and you didn't realised that?

Yes, time can wear out the passion degree in a relationship but it is up to you to work on it! I don't know and can't recall the amount of times I wanted him to put the calling me as a habit. Be it just a 3 minutes call, call me..talk to me. Is it that difficult?

You are really disappointing me major time! You never work on that initiative which is actually just a natural thing to do.

Busy is really your fucking excuse! Who isn't working? You are just holding 2 jobs at your own accord and no one's forcing you. I don't see you earning that big anyway so what's the point? If you are so busy with work and is a high flyer, I might have excuse you for being BUSY afterall.But what? What? WHAT?

No! Money is not the issue here. It is your attitude and the way you are SUCK BIG TIME!

In the past, I never understand how difficult a phone call can get. In your case, even a SMS is difficult to pine for. I was literally surprised each time I see your message on times I would not expect it. It's like winning a small prize and as a boyfriend for 5.5years, THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF!

I often tell my friends what are you so busy with? You are so busy that you have no time to call me to ask about my day, to tell me you miss me BUT has the time to eat, to visit toilet, to login to emails and forward bo-liao promotions, to talk on the phone,to strum the guitar, to watch Jason Mraz on Youtube, and NOW even to login to Facebook to comment on others' photos. Sure anything but to call your girlfriend (ex-girlfriend now..I know). AND HAS THE CHEEK TO TELL ME YOU MISS ME ALL THE SAME.

Jason....FUCK YOU!

You wouldn't know the tears I cried, the nights I could barely sleep, the times I broke down and cried in public. And even that I let you know(which you knew), you DID NOTHING ABOUT IT!

Oh, I know. Your very saint thinkings (Taught by whichever Saint) of "I am not your boyfriend now. I should let you learn to be strong and live a life without me. I don't deserve you. It would better that you hate me and can live on, knowing I don't deserved you." blah blah de blah is making you feel like Jesus huh?

Since you like playing Jesus, why not just go and tie yourself up on a cross altogether and hammer your own hands on it? Might as well look and act like one, don't be a half-fucked shite!

I don't mean to sound like such a bitter bitch but I have every right to be angry about it.

Anyway it is Saturday afternoon now. By the virtue of such a sunny weather out now, I hope you have fun sweating in work now.

Despite all these I wrote, I only meant for you to prove me something otherwise. But knowing you, I doubt you would really do anything about it.

It only concludes in the end...You are just not that into me.

Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you.

So long...Jason, so many times...You are breaking my heart again and again...and again.Not only you are not going to try to mend it, you are not EVEN thinking about mending it anyway.

I am about to really start blogging about my after thoughts but had done so, so many times in the day that I am now too tired to pen down.
There's only X time you can really let your emotions soak up your body cells. Overdoing it will kill them all.

Updates in my life.

-Had dinner with Yan & Reen last night and our last stop was New Asia Bar. My virgin visit and why didn't anyone bring me there before?

-Going to the TIMES book fair with Vonx, Yan & Reen after work tomorrow. Books, books, CHEAP books~Here comes I.

-Finally registered for the French Course @ Sengkang CC. Starting April 12th and I just have to put up with 8 Sundays. Feel proud of myself for not procrastinating finally. Yadda,yadda.

I am just a curbside prophet with my hands in my pocket, waiting for my rocket to come.

So maybe You are just NOT that into me afterall

I am currently reading that book and I've to say,it's really funny.
A little brain washing but I guess I know better now.

Will blog more about this after today.
;)

I browse through several CC websites and by far,I've only seen Sengkang CC offering French Course.
There are others but some were over and many not accessible.
Nearest would be Sengkang but it's every Sunday. -Groan-
Should I?

Some vote,pls. =)

I've seen the movie with Ming that time and I wanted to buy the book. It has been sometime since I last read a book ,last would be A Thousand Splendid Suns.

This book is so thin that I can finish within a day or half? Better savour it. Reading is such an expensive habit to keep up with.

Nothing much. I think I really should sleep early tonight. Woke up and look like a drag today.

Night~ Hehe.

Wanna be Lucky in love again

I am not actively seeking for love.
I am not even really seeking for it.

But I still believe....Call me a hopeless romantic love fool, a stupid Nicholas Sparks' brainwashed reader...But I still believe.

Believe that one day I am lucky to be in love with my best friend, lucky to been where I've been, lucky to be coming home again.

=)

I went to S'goon C.C to check out the new list of courses available. As usual there is no course for me. =(

Languages wise, there is only English, Chinese and Basic Japanese. I don't wanna learn the
'a,i,u,e,o' again!
Baking class...Sigh, I am terrified of making a fool outta myself in the class.
Music class...I recalled that my brother almost wanna smash the guitar on my head just teaching me how to pluck the tune outta the string.(And I still can't do it.)
Sewing...I would rather go learn climbing a tree.
Singing...Oh, brudder.

I am a really shy person and dare not make a fool outta myself at things, I know sometimes positive results would depend on my sacred good luck. (Runs low all the time)

Maybe I would drop by Bishan CC tomorrow after work and see what do they have to offer.

Oh well....

Sofie.M = Sophie Mraz,HAHAHA. Kidding.

I bought this costly alphabets blings a long time ago and had used up M.I.C.H and M.I.A.

Obviously I have no more M, so I used the W,inverted. No more C and I am left with the rest.
Sophie Juliet,if you still remembered the name that I would love to give my daughter if I have one.

The key is IF I have one. If I have none, Sophie Juliet can't be use at all.
So I made use of the only S, O, P, F, I, E to stick on my Vaio.
Another spontaneous thing I did when I was cleaning up my room.



I like the spelling Sofie better but Sophie is fine with me.
Sofie.M. ;p
Sofie.Mia or Sophie.Mich. (Not Sophie Mraz)

Michelia is not a given name so sometimes I am not bothered with it. People can't pronouned it anyway so I am free to use any names I like.

Like last Saturday, I gave my name as Sophie at Papercuts. Hahaha.



Going to eat dinner and watch my 'Shoot Condor Hero Lengend' later. =D

I'm looking for love this time. Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry - J.Mraz

I thought about these.

Why am I the one initiating a break up and nursing more sadness & hurt in the end?
Why am I the one initiating a phone call, a trash things out and still got not much that I hope for in the end?

Why am I the one who kinda had a crush first and find myself having the need to reject the love that I hoped for?
Why am I rejecting and yet feel bad and painful over it?

Why am I so stupid?

See...I am going to go plain honest now so no more alphabet soup. You like to read, you read. You do not want to hear the names, skip.

I was sore disappointed with the phone conversation I had with Jason on Saturday.
I dialed his number hoping for a good 5 minutes conversation and I forgot how long we were on the phone but there is NO conversation flow at all.

Then I realised after the break up, I am the one who always punch the numbers first.
Why?

Sure, I am not in a position to expect him to dial my number so I am not exactly unhappy over that. But the zero conversation flow is a big kick to my stomach.

What is that all about? Do we have nothing at all to talk to each other?
No, this is not how I like and want it. This is not healthy at all.

On the other hand, Ming is, more often than not, the one calling me on his own. It could be in the morning, lunch, after work or just random. Not everyday but quite often.

Jason, you do not know what you are missing out on when you made the excuse that you are not a phone person. Cos' you do not know the effect of daily conversation. It can bond 2 persons faster than you realised.
That is what you missed out on us cos' you would rather spend your time working away. Even without working, you won't think of calling me just for a good 5 minutes.

Of cos' the conversations between Ming & me is not exciting everytime but that's not the point here,is it?

So why do I find myself always feeling the need to stop Ming's advances? Why am I always trying to talk him outta it and feel exasperated yet amuse when he dismissed my idea?
Why am I always scare and worried that I would hurt him one day if I returned to Jason?
WHY am I thinking and hoping that Jason & I would be back,just like that?

I am not going to play nanny here again. This is so fucking a waste of my time and emotions for nothing.

First thing first,I have to stop thinking that Jason wants us back. He seems to lead a good time now anyway, not that I am not. But I do not see alot of efforts anyway.
Of cos' I am not disregarding everything that he did, in the past or now.
I was over the moon when I heard he asked me to go to J.Mraz's concert with him. I was so happy not because of it's J.Mraz's concert but because he asked me to go.

Second thing,I do not have to reject Ming altogether. Sure he can tell me that he likes me now but then?

I am not going to expect anything and feel stuck between these 2 BOYS!

Romantically, Ming can gives me what I want. Stability, Jason.
But then none of them are really doing anything that moves me?
So why am I feeling responsible anyway? I figured that I am thinking too much for the goodness of them, worrying that any step I take would hurt either one so badly.

What for? If Jason doesn't find the effort of communication vital, I am not forcing on him either. If I can't talk Ming outta it, so be it.

I am moving on. I do not want to stay here and in the end, I have nothing to fend myself.

You like me, you love me? Do something about it?

Ming asked just now (be in jokingly or not) that what can he do to make me change my mind? (Change my mind and accept him?)
I said,"Show me a reason."
That boy may be too young and then too Saggitariusy to understand that but I am not going to waste time. Bah!

Show me a reason. Show me some actions.
I am not going to sit here and wait my time away while you are happily living your life away.

I am moving onwards and catch my attention,if you can.

Who knows....This time, I may really find someone worth's my time. =)
I am not being boastful but I really think sometimes, that I am not a bad girlfriend material.

It's not easy to move my heart and enter my doors.
So?
Take on me or leave it.

"I'm looking for love this time. Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry."

There's no stopping us - Jason Mraz

Sunday is officially a day for me to lump-date(Lump-update) all the entries that I am lazy missed updating for the week.

Here goes nothing.

On 5th March 09, Thursday, I was invited to watch Jason Mraz with Jason. I was so excited! It has always been a wish of mine to go to a big,live concert and suddenly it came true!
To add on to the sparks, it is JASON MRAZ that I'm going to watch!

This is the original colour photo which I put on FB. I just have to make it black & white cos' this one made me shudder.

We sat at the top level but central seatings so all we see is merely a lego like figurine on the stage,if not for the projector.

Still it was good, Lucky enough to get a ticket to his concert. Jason Mraz is just AMAZING! I am never a fan that's crazy enough to buy every album, cut and collect every of the idol's picture from magazines. (Well... I was like that in secondary school,except for the buying album part...For Backstreet Boys.)
Digress: One of the concerts that I regret not going is actually the Backstreet Boys and 张学友's)
Damn.

It was an exhilarting 2 hours worth of experience listening to Mraz live. If you what you hear from him on radio, you would really soar to heaven when you finally hear him live. That Mraz-ing!Of cos' I won't go on describing that mes-Mraz-ing night. All I would say is, it is a once a life time experience.

There's no more worshipping a single human with talents as an idol but still, admiration from the heart goes strong.

And comes 7th March 09, Saturday, I had a date with Yvonne.
My artistic genes filled friend was supposed to go to Yamaha, PS for some audition but the audition timing was 'screwed' by their own staff with little apologies.

Thank God she hasn't decided to jump the bill on me hence, if not I would be left alone on yet another Saturday. Would probably rot again in some Starbucks and go home.

We combed just the Tanglin mall to Orchard and it can actually took us the whole good of Saturday.
What happened to us? Age's catching up or actually better sense of appreciation of life?
Instead of just merely walking the mall like how we did as teenagers, we really walk in the stores and appreciate the displayed items, taking in the details of life and savor the sweetness.
=)

I suggested going to that alfresco cafe - Beviamo @ Tanglin Mall, L2. I thought it looks really nice and a cafe always filled with Ang Mohs, shouldn't be that bad? I like the layout and thought it must have been expensive.

When we looked @ the menu, the prices seem reasonable for a cafe and the desserts, look cheap. Happy me & hungry Vonx decided to settle our lunch there.

We ordered the 9 pieces of Three mushrooms ravioli (Pictures found at my FB) first, $15. When it arrived, it looks so small and unfilling!
Somehow for a peculiar reason, the food that we ordered (later chicken sandwich to share) always seem so much lesser as compared to the tables around us.
For what their main courses cost, the portion is very unstatisfying. And I am not even going to go about the taste. It tastes very healthy would be my only comment.

What entices us was this piece of carrot cake that they displayed at their counter.

Looks nice,eh? It was something that both of us thought perhaps Beviamo would be a good place just to come here for high tea. Their coffee and cakes are not expensive.

But the moment we ate that piece of carrot cake, we decided not to go there anymore. Not for the food, not for the drinks, not for the ambience. Maybe this is just a regular kopitiam for the Ang Mohs so they are always there.

Oh well...Talk about things you never try, you'd never know.

We proceeded to Iwannagohome after that and Vonx picked her first wall painting for her upcoming home.

A very emo-tic picture. It's the only left with the violet-ish washout effect. Nice!

A sucker for baby pink stuff me actually bought this notebook @ $14. =/

I remember seeing a similar (but much prettier) design of such in a magazine. Also a silhouette heels with pink or white crystals embedded on a cup. Sadly I can't find that one yesterday.

But I like this one soooo much. If not that I have no use for it, I would have bimbotically bought it.

I am not going to upload every single photos I took so you may like to go to my FB for more.

We went to Friven & Co (Opposite Tanglin Mall, the former Post office).

My favourite picture took there.

Friven & Co, for the rich. (A bathrode costs $195 and I think it is discounted from the way they highlighted the pricing.)
Infact the whole of Tanglin is catered for the rich and mainly ang mohs. =/ Wondered if I would ever, ever be associated with them? But I care too much for the little things I have now, that is not so expensive.
I guess it is just the nice, clean and atas feel that I craved for. That neat apartment, the higher taste of living, who won't like?

Sure, a matter of state of mind. But I reach no nirvana yet so well..

Wouldn't you rather your kid to play in such a nice environment too? No?

We stopped to infuse caffeine in our blood @ Starbucks nearby.
Von flexed her artistie right hand to doodle on receipts and I would snap pictures, stealing the moments of life and keeping it (in my Vaio).

Question, is Caramel Frapuccino made of expresso? Why is there a hint of slight bitterness? I always thought frapuccino uses latte (which I don't really fancy). Anyway it is nice.

After much resting, we headed to Ngee Ann City. From The Better Toy Shop to ArtFriends to Kinokuniya to Coach to Fendi to Sophomore(I THINK~Forgot the name of that makeup store) to Isetan,Wisma.

What was intended for perhaps just a afternoon trip ended up with us parting @ 9pm plus. Hahaha. Haven't shopped around town for a long time with a girlfriend. What the hell was I doing?
Oh, I was attached and they are attached. That's why.

Some last few pictures which I like to share.

I bought the heart bone pendant (I called this heart bone cos' it's empty inside) @ $5. =D

Saw this white TY angel bear and I like. Maybe I should go hint to those guys who claimed that they like me and see if he would really buy for me. Hahaha.

This is already an open hint going out to one and I wonder should I tell the other one too? Hmph~I would explain my theory behind that, next entry after my Cinderella's Sunday chores.

A box of flowers! How nice and romantic! Imagine your dearest couriered you a box and when you open, it is a bed of flowers~

Flowers may be impermanent but still I wouldn't object receiving it once in a while. Even if it is not a bed of flowers inside, just imagine a box of lovely small things. That would be so nice and romantic!

A box of Tiggers? Hehehe.

Ok, I gotta end here. I have an announcement to make later cos' I have been brewing over it since yesterday. I am a little angry, disappointed once more but hey, I've reached a stage whereby I am so OVER all these emotions that they wash outta my body easily.

That however doesn't mean , I am not going to do anything about it.

Get it from me next post, later.

My chopstick sister with me @ Friven & Co. =))

Last picture.

XOXO,
Ling.

Going to see Jason Mraz tomorrow.

My first ever concert.
;)

-Yell~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-

ROARRRRRR~

Maybe time alone would make you see how deep our love could be - 911

Did you manage to catch the big rainbow arc lately?
I did and yesterday was my second time seeing that big rainbow. =)

That's the best my handphone could do. I adjusted the exposure to make the rainbow more apparent.

As a kid,I was always fascinated by the beauty of a rainbow. It is often difficult to witness a nice complete rainbow so I think it is really nice,even lucky to see such a big rainbow.

The one I saw the first time was even nicer. Think it was 2 Wednesdays ago.

Beautiful things are impermanent or unattainable?

I don't know and wouldn't like so.

Think I should just go sleep. =)

It takes a night to make it dawn - Jason Mraz

I haven't really start an entry quoting Mraz's song for a long time and I miss it.
Jason Mraz is coming to town and I know Jason has been crazing to get the tickets. I would love to see Mraz's performance but I am not the sort of that would drop dead in front a mega star.


I would be happy just to read his blog (well inspired and written) and listen to him singing when I feel like it.
Unlike Jason, he would go to youtube to watch his performances, try to sing every of his songs and even capped on a hat for the Mraz's style.
It is abit o_O,disturbing. HAHA!




It takes a night to make it dawn.
It often takes one action for another thing to happen.
I have been reflecting my current situation and I know it's my bad. But I wouldn't think I could handle it better anyhow. I guess sometimes life just happens the way it happened.


You may think you are stupid enough to make that kinda mistake but think, you wouldn't be smart enough to avoid making that mistake then. Even if you were to avoid that mistake, would you feel happier stuck in that situation?
You'd probably stuck in that situation wishing you did something about it.
Hence can you still call that a mistake?


That, I am referring to me.
Should I not choose to part with Jason that eventful day in January, would I be happier anyhow?
I guess I'd not. I would have probably spend my time thinking about what I could have and find myself locking in.
Our relationship had been too long and it had reached a point whereby we are not moving. More often than not, we find myself trying hard to smile to each other, trying to relieve in something when we know it is no longer there.




This parting has indeed taken a lot of me and I am still trying to live with that.
So much hurt and so much agony along the way, yet the answer to live with that is still to communicate, talk to each other and forgive.
Forgiveness seems like an easy job to do but it takes alot to achieve that everyday.
When you wake up in hurt every morning, it would take alot to learn to let go and forgive what caused the hurt.


Forgiveness is not a one way ticket. I guess in life, it is a cycle. You can't expect one thing to happen without something causing it and it causing another thing.
When I want to forgive the hurt done, I have to seek for forgiveness for expecting things.
That~is what Shireen taught me.=)


Although I still think forgiveness is subjective --Depending if the person is worth it or not, but I think it is a wise lesson in the end.


So back to what I'm saying...This parting made me realise how much I had miss having Jason by my side. The things we had been through, the things we had done and the things we could have done.
A lot of times, I felt stupid for doing the things I did but I come to realise, I couldn't have done it better then.


It's not saying that I am having it alot worse now. I am not. I know my friends care. Tonnes of messages etc filled my phone and I am grateful, touched.
And I guess I got what I thought I wanted. In a way, yes...It is still what I wanted but I know, I want a clear future with Jason more.




I know I can't have best of both worlds and I would never think of that. If I still have the opportunity to choose, I would know what to choose.
That doesn't mean I would not regret. I would still regret but I guess, c'est la vie.


Other than it being a cycle,it is too full of opportunity costs.


I just don't know when would it be and really, do I still have the chance?

PS: Don't you miss my face in my blog? Muahahahahaa.

I miss the volume of my hair. Sobz. But without the flat hair now, my hair would remain in the dying stage.

Oh well...

Hello, First of March

Holycow! It's already March!

Good Sunday and good 1st of March to you.

Supposedly I had a breakfast invitation from Vonx & Krist today but that invitation was only smsed to me at 1.30am. So much for impromtu-ness. Haha.

By the time I woke up (only to fall asleep in 10 seconds flat), it was already 6.30am. My body signalled that it was too tired for any other weekend activities and screamed for a rest.

I woke up at 9.30am again to see Ming's morning greeting at 7.30am. I slumped back to lalala land and finally woke up 8 minutes before 12 noon. Hohoho.

That's my Sunday for you. Woke up quite unused to my flat hair which inturn makes my face looks rounder than ever.(Groans)

Some backdating for you.

On Friday, I met up with Vonx & Irene @ Suntec for dinner.

Vonx & I decided to settle for this Korean eatery @ Suntec basement. Looks not bad but tasted quite food-court for me. Plus they served their food so fast (Oh, I dislike that self service idea.) which makes me wonder if all of their food are already made ready and all they have to do is warm it up?

Irene arrived after OT and delighted us with some of the yummies she bought from Paris~(Oh and that white LV damier which is not seem in SG market --That of cos' is only for our eyes). Vonx is more delighted with the packagings than its' contents, I guess. Haha.

And I presented to you all the macaroons' papa/mama.

Irene told us this is where macaroon origin and in Paris, you had to queue to get it. Costs around $3.05 (I hope I rememebered this right) per macaroon. When you finally eat this, you can snort at the local ones.

Nonetheless it was Vonx who treated me to my very virgin macaroon on the same day.

Bakerzin was having this $1 per macaroon offer and she was literally amazed that I never eaten any before. “你还是女人吗？”was her exact same queston when I told her I have never eaten macaroon before. So she insisted buying the bakerzin one for me.

I felt like I was eating some blackcurrent yoghurt candy though. The one from Paris is really sweet and sour at the right note.

We went to TCC, Millenia to chill out, replacing coffee with some tea/soya freeze.

I just love Von's ring from Diva. So nice eh?

Faces I love since poly days and will so, for the rest of my life. =)

On Monday, Ming & I went to his sister's school performances @ Lunar Bar.

Absolutely boring. A group of not so fanstatic vocals with a major group of supporters (friends and families) in a not so impressive bar. The website sure looks very different.

But still I oughta thank Ming for an invitation (And he paid for it) cos' I wouldn't know how Lunar Bar looks like without him. Irene calls it the 'chi-na' uncle place and I am pretty sure I won't waste money to go in again. Lolx.

And on last Sunday, I had a lovely breakfast time @ Dome, Demsey. That is pretty much the highlight of that week.

I had never been to Demsey before though I long heard of the romantic atmosphere there. It was Shireen's idea and I really love it there.

It's really a romantic place to be at for weekend breakfast and of cos' many famous cafes like PS Cafe etc are just right over there.

Pictures of food found @ Facebook.

I am glad to befriend Von's friends and really thanks to her, my group of good girlfriends expands. Haha.
From the lady in yellow and in anti-clockwise direction are Zann, Yanling and Shireen. (Then me & Von) Reen & Yan are part of the KL foursome. Hehe. I miss that KL trip.

We visited Jones the grocer opposite after breakfast and I was so excited to see such a nice place!


I wanted to go there again and hopefully next breakfast session with them would be there!
A place filled with rich ang mohs mainly and actually the food are not exactly unaffordable. Normal cafe breakfast prices but it is the ambience that you really wanna paid for.

Such a nice place and somehow I wish that one day, Jason & I would go there. =) Well...I hope.

Afterwhich Reen, Von & I went to walk around town, starting from Tanglin.

We spontaneously bought ourselves TY plushies namely - Farker,Wanker & Nuts. Lol.

(Actually name Barkers, P'Nuts & Wankler.)

And we visited St. Regis for toiletbreak. The washrooms there are so nice! We wouldn't mind spending hours inside till it really gets too warm.

Ps: They even have moisturiser!!

I bought these @ Wheelocks place. I just have to buy a pair even though Minnie's cuter. I have not open it yet..hoping I can find someone to give it one day. ;)

On Saturday after work, I went to Starbucks,Central to emo.

Caramel machiato (sp?) is nice!

And lastly on last Wednesday/Thursday, the mini group of us celebrated Yin's bday in advance @ Canele, Orchard.

Really nice cakes they have there!

Ok, that's mainly what I have to do with back dating.

Hopefully more exciting things come up in the coming month. Gonna start loving life again.

Muack!

Ps..I miss you.